365 Days

365 days

I took an extra long time rocking Jackson to sleep tonight . . . teary eyed . . . reminiscent.  He felt so big in my arms--the tip of his fluffy hair at my nose--his little feet dangling and spilling over my lap.  I thought about how one year ago tonight . . . he was nestled tightly--still inside my womb.  The experience was overwhelmingly surreal.

I laid my 11-month old to sleep in his crib--tomorrow morning I will retrieve my 1-year old from it.

On May 4th, 2010 . . . I couldn't sleep a wink (despite a pretty desperate need).  I anxiously awaited my 5:00 AM alarm ringing, signaling it was time to get ready to leave for my labor induction at the hospital.  I was giddy.  Nervous.  Ready for a new chapter of my life to begin.

On this May 4th, there are less nerves--hopefully more sleep--but also a slight sadness.  Tomorrow is Jackson's first birthday, and the day will be filled with candles, cheers, and lots of picture taking.  So very exciting!  But, tonight, it was just he and I in our quiet house--rocking.  I felt a little sad as he snuggled into his crib--thinking that his very first year of life, the one in which he wrapped my heart and soul around his finger, is drawing to a close.

Bittersweet.