Sunday, June 27, 2010

The Winner

I'm going to be brutally honest.  Breastfeeding was the most difficult and painful thing I have ever experienced.  Yes, I know everyone tells you that the first 6 week are the hardest.  They say "If you can just get through the beginning, it gets easier.  You'll really enjoy it then."  Well, Jackson's tongue tie resulted in my dependency on a hospital grade Medela breastpump and a subsequent kinship with dairy cattle.  I did explore the option of working with a Lactation Consultant, but at $195/hour, I thought this a bit steep for someone to look at my boob.  My plight as it was, I "hooked up to the milker" for 2.5 weeks, but I finally caved.  "This just isn't working for anyone!"  Much to my guilt and dismay, I switched Jackson to formula at 3 weeks.  Since then, it's been trial and error to find the right formula for my boy.  He has severe acid reflux, and is very spitty.  We've tried 5 different formulas since I stopped pumping, and I think we've finally found the winner with Enfamil AR.  Jax still has major spit-ups several times a day, but at least he's fat and happy.  To those women who are able to breastfeed, or heck, who actually find pleasure in doing so, I salute you.  I really do.  But for those who, like me, decide that it just 'isn't for you and your baby,' don't be too hard on yourself either.  Take that from someone who thought she'd never forgive herself.
This one's the winner.
We still get lots of bonding.
And now Mommy's happy.
And Jackson's happy too.
We're all happy!


Lauren said...

Hey! I got your comment... sorry I am just now responding! I was able to feed Savannah for 6 months, but I hated it and counted down the days until she was six months old, and I supplemented with formula the whole time. She was an acid reflux baby too and everything I ate seemed to bother her, she wanted to eat every two hours, and never seemed full. It was so stressful and I was so ready to be done at 6 months!

With Brooklyn, it was a totally different experience. I was a little more determined and expected difficulty. I started out pumping because she was in the NICU, and I honestly think that helped my milk supply. After she was 5 days old, they asked me to nurse her, and she didn't seem to understand how to latch, so I called the lactation consultant right away... I was not going through this again! She showed me some helpful things, and Brooklyn got the hang of it right away. She would only nurse on one side though, so I would pump the other. As a result, I got a freezer full of milk pretty quickly! Anyway, I now don't supplement with formula at all (except when she is being babysat!) and it is SO different.

So yes, you can have a completely different experience with the second child! But, I'm with you, breastfeeding is way harder than anyone tells you and you shouldn't blame yourself. (I still hate the inconvenience and am so jealous of moms that just fix a bottle when theyre out, while I have to hunt a private place to nurse!) Plus, Jackson was a little complicated! ;)

One more thing... with Savannah, we used Gentlease formula and it seemed to make her happier... maybe it is worth a try if you have any more problems.

Good luck girlie! And really, don't be hard on yourself. You tried, and thats all you could do!

Crystal said...

I am so sorry you had such difficulty. Praying that you all find just the right formula. Now I know what a blessing it was to be able to see the lactation consultants in Roanoke for free (LG nor Carillon charged) it took eight weeks for us to get it down without it being a struggle. That would have cost tons in Fairfax, goodness.