Recently, mom and I spend a lot of time together. That being the case, she has said some pretty amazing things about the world. I thought a few merited sharing. So . . . here is my first edition of "overheard at my house."
"Ever since I moved here, I keep thinking to myself 'Betty, you're not in Kansas anymore.'"
-- on adjusting the the way of life in the DC-Metro area
Me-- "Mom, what do you think of this one?" (trying on a shirt in Coldwater Creek)
Mom-- "Hun, I know you're a mom now, but I'm not sure you're ready for a seahorse."
-- I bought the shirt anyways, I am ready. :)
"Jennifer, why would anyone opt to walk down the stairs? You walk up them to get exercise, but why would you walk down? I don't get that."
-- on a girl opting out of the escalator
"Tell me, what nationality are those women with the little bity bodies and the great big heads?"
-- any futher explanation of this comment would not be PC
"Careful! Watch out for my cup! If that thing spilled, it'd be a frickin' flood."
-- on her 64oz drink to-go from Hard Times Cafe
Mom-- "Darn it Nick, come here. Why is everything slanted? Great! I've never done this before!"
Dad-- "What? What are you talking about?" (walking over to the computer desk)
Mom-- "Everything is slanted...see? How do I fix it?"
Dad-- "I don't see what you're talking about, dear."
Me-- (from the couch, without even looking at what she is doing) "She's talking about the italics. She pressed the italics key. Just press it again.