1. I did not step on one of Jackson's trucks tonight and go careening around my bedroom before falling into our cedar chest full-out-Home Alone-style. Oh no! That would be clumsy of me!
2. Upon changing Jackson's diaper in the nice hidden bathroom inside Pottery Barn Kids at the mall, my mom and I were definitely not puzzled by a strange foul odor. We did not conclude that another mother must have used the dirty paper towel at our feet to wipe her kid's bum. My mother would never attempt to kick that paper towel to the side. At that time--when the paper towel squished--the lightbulb inside my head did not go off saying "Holy moly--that's Jackson's poop! You slung it out of his diaper when you threw it away!" Heck no! That would be disgusting.
3. I am not bothered to the core by the fact that Calliou (the cartoon character) has not one strand of hair upon his head although he is supposed to be 4 years old. I certainly do not feel a need to express my disdain for this hair omission every-single-night. How trivial. Not me!
4. I have not become "that lady" inside Walmart who brings an empty banana peel to the cashier and asks her to "please weigh one of my bananas twice because one has already been eaten." My child absolutely does not eat a banana every time we enter the produce section without fail. Nope!
5. My favorite purchase this week is certainly not the 12-count miniature Tums bottle that I can carry inside my wallet. No way!
What have you not done this week? I'd love to know!