Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Intentional Parenting Success

Doing precisely what I once swore I would never do, I have noticed that 2014 was a rather "light" year for my blogging.  This year, I have instead focused on making family time a priority, building friendships, growing in my walk with the Lord, and keeping my home more organized.  All good things.  But, the truth is: I miss blogging.  Mostly, I miss my sort of "electronic diary" that's creating a lasting record of Jackson and Oliver growing up.  Do I sense a 2015 New Year's resolution coming on?  We shall see.

Nevertheless, in 2014, some things are still worth blogging.  This is one of them.  On Jackson's literal 4th birthday, he simultaneously gave up his paci {a good thing because I planned to confiscate it anyways} and gave up napping {a not so good thing because mama runs a photography business AND needs a little "alone" time during any given day}.  Thus began our transition from nap time to "rest time."  Honestly, Jackson's rest time usually meant me putting a movie on for him in our bedroom ... and Jackson doing just about anything other than watching the movie.  This rest time for me {mama confession coming on} typically consisted of me {through clinched teeth} redirecting him back into our bedroom every 15 minutes as I tried to edit clients' images or just get household matters handled. I am practically certain that all other mamas out there in cyberspace reading this blog will agree with me that "alone" time with two toddlers is rarely, if ever, about reading, watching tv, painting your toenails, or relaxing in any form.  Heck, it's not even about popping that long overdue exercise DVD into your player and breaking a nice sweat.  Instead, when mamas need "alone" time during the day, it's almost always to wait on hold for 45+ minutes with the insurance agency, or to wash and fold everyone's laundry, or {in my case} to edit photos, or to brush the dog and vacuum the couch on which she was shedding.  Mama's "alone" time isn't glamorous ... but it is made 10,000x LESS glamorous when little ones NEED YOU RIGHT AWAY as soon as that insurance agent takes you off that 45+ minute hold.  How many mamas out there are saying "holla" right about now?  Ahem.

For some time, the Lord has been gently {as He so often does} nudging me to make some intentional changes to Jackson's rest time.  He has placed scripture, Christian literature, and Christian friends in my path that have all been "saying" the same things to me {just in different ways ... and usually without actually "saying" anything at all}.  There has been a stirring in my heart for change in general.  I have also recently been reading a book by Holley Gerth called "You're Already Amazing."  I highly recommend it!  In her book, Holley speaks about the almost universal tendency for women to say "yes" to everything and everyone.  She writes about how we compare ourselves to one another.  She speaks about how many, many women live in a constant state of trying to be more, do more, prove more, accomplish more, earn more, and please more.  Consequently, we spread ourselves so very thin that we sense we are failing at everything we do.  Using God's Word {and her own wisdom and experiences}, Holley makes a great argument for why this attitude must STOP for healthy living.  Instead, she encourages women to learn to listen to God's direction and to live effectively WITHIN the domains He places in our lives ... giving those areas our wholehearted efforts.

"Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people."
Colossians 3:23

  In reading this book and praying over its application in my life, I have found myself making lots of changes in my life.  I have made changes to my marriage, my parenting, my friendships, my schedule {a tough one for me}, and my general self-awareness.  But that one area I was resisting change?  Jackson's rest time.  I know that seems so trivial ... but it was on my mind a lot!  It was a near constant source of "mommy guilt" which wasn't benefitting anyone, especially Jackson.  I so badly wanted him to be "enriched" during the few daily hours while Oliver was napping.  However, I was desperately clinging to my fleeting "alone" time less risk losing my sanity altogether.

*   *   *

Voila!  In the form of an old college friend, God provided.  He is SO good.  My friend Becca wrote a blog entry {ironically asking for rest time ADVICE} on her beautifully penned blog:  Becca, while asking for other mamas' input on the nap time-to-rest time transition, sparked something inside me.  I am pleased to say she provided the final inspiration for me to get moving toward positive change that {wait for it} benefitted EVERYONE INVOLVED.  Oh, this is good.  Becca is good.  God is SO good!

I called up my friend Rachel who several weeks ago offered me a large toy box to say "I'm coming to get it today."  It had to be today.  I had to strike while the iron was hot!  Grin.

With the toy box, I had the much needed storage to organize the boys' playroom, freeing up a bookshelf to be used upstairs.

That little bookshelf made its way into Oliver's bedroom.  Previously, ALL of our children's books were in Jackson's bedroom.  They were overflowing into the floor and albeit rather overwhelming.  To make matters worse, at bedtime, my boys did more fighting over holding the books that actually listening to the stories being read to them.  Now, Oliver has a nice selection of the younger children's books in his own bedroom {right next to a miniature potty chair} ... perfect for potty training with good reading material on hand.  Wink.

Now, for the grand finale ... and how all this ties into Jackson's rest time and mama's sanity.  Jackson is still going to be required to quietly entertain himself during 2/3 of Oliver's afternoon nap.  I am {fingers crossed} going to maintain some precious "alone" time to manage our household.  However, instead of vegging out in front of the television ... Jackson's bedroom is now full of fun and {disguised} educational activity stations.  Hands down, I am totally stealing Becca's genius ... I don't get to claim this wonderful "station" idea.  It really is wonderful!

He will have a selection of good books {which I plan to switch out every few days}.

And more books if he chooses.

An "art" desk.

And an activity table with rotating activities.  Right now, he has a pattern game, a learning design drill, and a giant floor puzzle.  Underneath this little table is his beloved Build-A-Bear he received at Shriner's Hospital for Children and all of the outfits he earned during his serial Mehta casting.

Eventually, I plan to add a music station ... if I decide I can trust my little stinker not to crank up the volume and wake Oliver.  Ahem.

*   *   *

Today was our first day with this new system, and it worked beautifully!  I was so proud of Jackson for his willingness {and excitement} to try this new arrangement.  In honesty, I was also really proud of myself for making this long-needed change.  I'm sure we will experience some growing pains as the newness wears off, but I plan to change the activities often and to continue praying.  Three cheers for intentional parenting ... especially when everyone wins!

happy . ending .

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