Monday, November 7, 2011

Not Me Monday

1.  I have not vomited so many times throughout this pregnancy (thus far) that when asked, "What does Mama do?" Jackson will bend slightly at the waist and proceed to stick his tongue out over and over.  No way!  Not me.

2.  My toddler's new favorite word does not happen to be "no."  He definitely does not say "no" to everything he is asked with the exception of "Do you have a peepee?" to which he did not respond with his first and resounding "yeah!"  No, not him.

3.  I did not go to SweetFrog yesterday to get some sour "original tart" flavored frozen yogurt only to find that they discontinued that flavor at the Winchester location.  How, may I ask, do you discontinue a flavor named original anything?  That's like BK discontinuing the Whopper.  Anyways, when the teenager behind the counter told me that "no one liked it," I did not secretly have to restrain myself from yelling "I LIKE IT, YOU MORON ... AND I'M PREGNANT ... AND YOU SHOULD CARRY THAT FLAVOR IF SOLELY FOR ME!"  Nope.  Not I.  I also did not have to concentrate on not crying when there were no other flavors that appealed to me and I left empty-handed.

4.  I did not go bra shopping yesterday and walk up to the cash register one, two, three different times with a wireless, full coverage, 1/2-inch-thick-strapped "granny" bra because it was just sooo comfortable before deciding that no matter how pregnant I am, I am just too young for said bra.  Nah!  I wouldn't do that ... not me!

5.  If I order french fries with anything I eat, I never have to cover them with a napkin and sneak one out at a time to prevent multiple loud outbursts from my typical dinner date that just might love fries himself.  Certainly not me!  I have also never given him one just to stop the ringing in my ears.  Heck no, that would be irresponsible!

6.  The type-A side of me has not already made, ordered, stuffed, and addressed our Christmas cards.  No way!  I am also not planning a trip to the post office this week to see if Christmas stamps are available already.  Nah ... and I have definitely not finished all of my Christmas shopping either.

7.  I did not sneeze and ask my husband for a tissue only to receive it and, upon wiping my nose, discover that it was wet.  My hubby would certainly never have handed me an already-been-used tissue off of his nightstand.  That tissue was definitely not used after suctioning Jackson's nose with the bulb syringe.  That did not happen at our house!  That would be gross!

8.  My sweet husband did not look over at my from the driver's seat the other day and say "I'm not trying to be mean, but I thought that expensive makeup you bought was supposed to help clear up your acne?"  I did not seriously consider smacking him nor did I loudly proclaim "You are such a jerk!  It's my hormones!  Don't mess with me!"  Nope.  Not me!

Tell me, what have you not done this week?  

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